ertel of the night

THE SAD AND LONELY AMERICAN SPORTS OUTSIDER

I’m an outsider and I can’t stay gold. I really want to like sports but I’m having trouble. You see, I didn’t really grow up with sports except for The Bulls when The Bulls were THE BULLS. Michael Jordan. Pippen. Rodman. You dig?

But that is really the long and short of my experience with them. Now, I feel like when I go to sports events like I’m the lone sports lepur. I never really care who wins. I’ll just pick a team arbitrarily and sort of root for them (if rooting means sitting down drinking beers and wondering what I can eat later).

Does it take effort to be a sports fan? I guess it must. It does require a lot of standing up and sitting down and wearing jersies and listening to loud noises and horns and songs like, “I Love L.A.” (which is the theme for when The Kings score goals). Fuckin’ Randy Newman.  I feel out of place at these events. Let’ just say it. It’s not that I think serious sports fans are losers or not cool, I really don’t, I’m glad they have fun. But I can’t really get excited enough to pop out of my seat wearing a black, silver and purple jersey dance around like some D&D wizards do but is that OK?

Jumbo trons, “kiss cams” (I just heard that last night), screaming, hysterical, business men. I don’t know where I fit in. I wish it were just fans + the game and then I’d be so down. But the advertisements, the half time games sponored by Best Buy. I feel like I’m in the inside of the Wall E ship.

What now? What. Now.

munchausen by proxy

missworld:

bebelestrange:

is the best name for a syndrome.

Obviously. I learned it late in the night when Discovery Health Channel turns dark. Programs turn grim, almost morbid. The Critical Hour, about real trauma’s that happen where paramedics/doctors have only 1 hour to save the lives. No reenactments there. None at all. It gets worse from minute five though, spiraling down. Another phenomenon that presented itself to me then was Fetus In Fetu wherein there are twins in the womb and one develops inside the other one. In under developed nations the dead fetus may live inside it’s twin for years as a parasite.

For. Serious.